Let's Discuss: Crazy Heels and the Towering Heights

An assortment of mad, multi-story shoes from Alexander McQueen's seasons past.

I am really petite, and take great pleasure in donning a lovely pair of heels to give me a little boost.  However I do have a limit, my high heel height limit is 3.5".  If I go beyond that limit I become a teetering, tripping mess.  I know some women would scoff at my inability to wear a 4" heel, but even 4" heels seem quaint compared to the new heights that heels have reached.  Not only has the heel height been climbing, the rest of the shoe has been pushing the limits of what would be considered footwear and what should be a sculptural work of art.

I know crazy high heels are nothing new, designers have been sending them down the runways the last few years.  I recall a wave of shock when Alexander McQueen's armadillo shoes hit the runway a couple years ago.  Sensationalist artwork mostly, but then women started wearing these feats of engineering, well it was mostly Lady Gaga, but others soon followed suit.  Now those seriously strange soles are no longer the trademark of ostentatious designers, maintstream shoe manufacturers are selling sky-high, sculptural stems. I have gathered up a selection of current styles that are dangerously high and/or wonderfully strange.

Silvia Tcherassi for Payless, Genova Elastic Strap Sandal, $69.99.  I am sure Rainbow Bright put in her order for a pair of these babies.

Jeffrey Campbell, Bonnie Platform Bootie, $115.  These boots look like an experimental collaboration between NASA and Jeffrey Cambell.  I guess NASA didn't want them because they are now being sold at a retailer near you.

Steve Madden, SHAZZAM in Black Multi, $149.  The 5-1/2" platform heel is pretty wild alone, but Steve Madden didn't stop there.  They threw in some patent leather straps (oh boy) and some leopard print around the heel (no way)in calf's hair ( wow, just like petting a real leopard). For comfort and walkability there is the cushioned footbed and a 2-1/2" platform.  So that makes this like a 3" heel, I could totally handle these.

Two Lips, Virtual Ankle Strap Sandal, $99.95.  The description on the seller page reads "this look is practically defying gravity".  The 5-3/4" heel will raise you up so you can feel like you are standing on a mountain, but don't worry the solid wood platform heel will keep you grounded.  As an added bonus the shoe makers carved out a spot in the platform for you to keep your lipstick, wallet and keys, awesome.

Enzo Angiolini, Laila Sandal, $130.  A lovely  5" cork heel with  a comfy 1" platform  perfect for dropping the kids at school, walking the dog or running errands.  The more you move the more the fringe sways to and fro.  Don't worry no muppets were harmed to make these shoes.

Boutique 9, Highroller, marked down (shut up) $64.  So you're going out on a date with a guy whose got this whole undead thing going on, slightly greenish complexion, bolts coming out of his neck, what do you wear? Nine West has got you covered, at least in the shoe department.  I will say these had the lowest heel of the bunch measuring a mere 3".

After viewing these shoes and more (oh yeah I found lots) I began to wonder who is wearing, them?  So let's discuss would you or wouldn't you don a pair of these dangerous (some downright ugly) looking heels?  If you have worn any of these shoes please explain how you are able to stay upright in them, inquiring minds want to know.  I love how outrageous these shoes are in theory and appearance. I am sure the appeal is the confidence boost you get walking around 6" taller than usual. Confidence or height boost aside, I would prefer for my body not to be found at the bottom of a stairwell, feet up around my shoulders, wearing any of these shoes.

Best,

Jennifer